Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The following was on the internet (so it must be true):

Family Chicken Feud Turns to Gun Battle
Associated Press

BLUEWELL, West Virgina - A family meal erupted into a gun battle after a father and son clashed over how to cook chicken.

The two men argued Sunday over the best way to prepare skinless chicken for dinner.

"It started out as a physical confrontation, but it escalated until both of them were shooting at each other," Detective Sgt. A.D. Beasley of the Mercer County Sheriff's Department said Monday.

Beasley said each man fired a .22-caliber handgun at the other. Harley Shrader was struck by a bullet that went through the upper part of his right ear and lodged in the back of his head. He was treated at a hospital and released. The elder Shrader was not injured.

Jackie Lee Shrader, 49, was charged with malicious wounding and wanton endangerment. Harley Lee Shrader, 24, was charged with wanton endangerment.

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While some might see humor, and others might be saddened, I see opportunity. We just learned that Martha Stewart will serve her time in West Virginia. I'm certain that she has a nice recipe for skinless chicken (work with me here). Seems to me that justice would be well served by having Ms. Stewart serve her sentence with the Shrader family. Five months with them would be ample motivation to never lie to the SEC again (assuming she doesn't mess up Christmas dinner and get shot), and the Shraders would finally have a good skinless chicken recipe.

Am I missing anything? Where is the fault in this logic?


Anonymous said...

Soild logic, as usual Drake.

I'm wondering if the next time Mike Tyson goes to jail (of course it will happen!), if they shouldn't send him to serve his time in Germany with that creepy cannibal. They could swap recipes involving human ear meat.

Anonymous said...

Very nice Matthew. Thank God for West Virginians...Arkansas has lost its bet for the most backwards, country f___s on the planet! Of course we both know Ohio has its share...thankfully not coming from Granville!