Spring Training

Ahhh, another year of spring training, another year of the same stories, another year of me complaining about those same stories.

I missed one category of story, The Guy Who's Healthy Again (Bobby Crosby, Eric Gagne).

It's so booooooring. I make it a policy to never pay attention to the games themselves, as they don't really matter. I'm ready for the real thing!

Now that spring training games have begun, baseball reporters can start over-analyzing the results of games. Newspapers will publish the standings and reporters will talk about a teams "record" as if it matters. This is entirely ridiculous. Spring training isn't a time to win games. Managers are trying young prospects, and a team's actual players often don't play the full game. Many games are split squad games anyway. As a policy, I refuse to pay attention to any spring training scores.

In other baseball news, the players union is really digging itself into a hole on the steroid/human growth hormone issue. I'm not sure what Gene Orza is thinking (he's the #2 guy at the players union, and he's been loudly claiming that cigarettes are worse for one's health than steroids and that because baseball doesn't prevent players from smoking, it shouldn't prevent them from using steroids either). From a strategic standpoint, I'm pretty sure that the union would rather negotiate with the owners than with Congress, but if they're not careful, they'll find themselves in congressional hearings. This is an election year, and what member of Congress wouldn't want to get on the evening news pontificating about the perils of steroids and the risks to Our Youth from the use of these drugs by professional athletes?

Spring training will start soon, which means that we're treated to an annual rite of spring:

Time for sportswriters to consult the stories they wrote last year and repost them. Every year the same stories are written. Watch for

(a) The player from central America who's late due to "visa problems". The manager will say it's no big deal. The general manager will say "he's working on it". But it's worth a story every year.

(b) The Guy Who Shows Up Late (without a visa problem). Every year someone has "personal issues" and misses the first couple of days. The general manager "isn't happy about it". The manager "hasn't heard from him". He shows up two days late and everyone promptly forgets about it until next year because no one really cares.

(b) The Grizzled Veteran. Some over the hill retread will have been invited to camp. He "brings a lot of experience" and "he's a great example for the kids". He'll hit well for a couple of weeks, then fade, and won't make the opening day roster. (When cut, he'll whine that he "wasn't given a fair shot" because he "knows he can still contribute", but that story doesn't have to be 'written' until late March.)

(c)(1) The Guy Who's With A New Team. Maybe he was traded, maybe he signed elsewhere. But some reporter will visit him at the new team's site and ask deep questions like "Do you talk with your former teammates?" The player will likely have no hard feelings and will be excited about the upcoming season.

(c)(2) The New Guy. See above. But this time he's being interviewed by his new hometown newspaper.

(d) The Old Coach. Every team has an old guy hanging around. He's likely spitting sunflower seeds. He'll talk about how it was back when he first reported to spring training 50 years ago.

(e) The Guy Who's In Great Shape. Every year someone will have really worked hard in the offseason (i.e. it's a contract year). He's probably hired a new personal trainer and had lots of vegetables.